What day is it?

Losing track of the days.  Is it Monday the first, or Tuesday the second?  Or wait - Tuesday the first?  That doesn't sound right.

Spent five hours applying for jobs over the internet today.  I had It's A Wonderful Life playing in the background and when my roommate came back from work she walked in right at the moment that has me in tears every time.  That was, let's say, a 'bonding moment'.

Tonight we added more decorations to fill out our adorable little tree, and I bought some popcorn for us to pop and string around it.  I told my roomie that the history of our little tree has to be sped up over the next 3 weeks, because we don't have the luxury of the lifetime of ornament-accumulation one normally has with a Christmas tree.  So every day we have to add the symbolic equivalent of a year's worth of decorations.

Tomorrow, year 3:  The Year of the Popcorn Garland.

At the end of this we hope to have empty giftwrapped boxes under the tree, lights strung around the balcony railing, and paper snowflakes on the windows.

And then she goes home for Christmas ... and I remain here.

Where I shoot the back of my brains out.

I was in such a fury to get to Trinidad that it honestly completely escaped me that I'd be spending Christmas alone.

Precisely one year after the Ex-Boyfriend/Current Douchebag ended things.

Yup.  This was a good idea.

Blap.

Tonight, however, was wonderful.  Cheese and crackers, Carib Shandy's and So You Think You Can Dance.  Apparently I had to go all the way to Trinidad to find a girlfriend.  Good grief.

P.S.  Obama's "State of the War or Union or Something To That Effect" address was on when we flicked on the telly tonight and the sight surprised me and made me sad that I was so far out of touch that I had no idea he was even giving a speech.  It's been four weeks since I've listened to a peep of NPR and it depressed the hell out of me to know that if I were home I would have been sitting in front of the couch, avidly watching with a Dew in my hand and the phone turned off.

Which now brings the "What the hell am I doing" count up to 47.